its time
seriously. we’re just sitting on the internet together
were having a staring contest now
you posted the same picture 3 times. dumb.
happy easter.
how to lose insane amounts of respect in my book:
- play minecraft
- like the big bang theory
- think WWE is fake
TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2011 (in my opinion dont hurt me)
1. Deathgrips - Exmilitary
I don’t even need to explain this one. Just listen to it.
2. Pianos Become The Teeth - The Lack Long After
It took me a while to get into this album, but now that I’ve finally appreciated it for what it truly is. I never really got super into PBTT, but once I listened to “I’ll Get By” on this album, which happens to be the last song, I realised how good it really was. That song is so perfect in every way, and that helped me realise how great the rest of the album is as well.
3. Battles - Gloss Drop
Okay, starting off with Africastle is probably the best choice that Battles could have made with this album. Easily the best song of this album, giving a good vibe for the rest of the album. Battles does not disappoint with their incredibly mathy and great talent. Also, if you get a chance watch the video for Africastle on pitchfork. It’s fucking sick.
4. La Dispute - Wildlife
This album had a lot of expectations coming out, and I feel as though it met a lot of them. I spent a good 3-4 weeks listening to only this album, and it is incredibly dark. The lyrics, instrumentation, everything. The theme of this album is “death”, and they have executed that idea very well. Every song is almost an individual short story in itself, which I think is really really cool.
5. Owen - Ghost Town
The second I heard Owen released a new album, I downloaded it. Upon listening to the first song (my favourite now) I immediately fell in love with the album. I already knew I would fall in love with his voice because he is one of the few men I would go gay for, but the entire album just goes so well together. And I can’t wait to see him live in SF either.
6. Mates of State - Mountaintops
Now, if you haven’t heard the “oooooh!!!” on the Burger King commercials, you’re missing out. Mates of State has been a favourite of mine for a good 5-6 years now and when I heard the opening song from their new album on a BK commercial I got really happy. This band has been around for a good while, and they get NO recognition for all of the bands that copy them. Every “Matt and Kim”-esqe band has some sort of influence from Mates of State and I’m really glad to see them doing so well. Also they’re cute as fuck :3
7. The Album Leaf - A Chorus of Storytellers
Now this isn’t my favourite The Album Leaf album, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. There’s a lot more singing in this album than I would have liked, but their melodies are still calming and slow as usual. It took me a good while listening to it in order for me to really enjoy it, and there aren’t that many amazing songs on there, but there’s some hidden treasures in there for sure.
8. Transit - Listen & Forgive
A friend of mine from school recommended I listen to this album when I told him I was kind of into pop-punk, and I’m really glad I took him up on this offer. Now, the reason why it’s #8 is because other than the first two songs, none of the others really stand out to me. Now, the first two songs are pretty fucking good, but other than that, it’s alright.
9. Touche Amore - Parting The Sea Between Brightness And Me
No songs really stand out on this album, but as a whole the album is pretty damn good. The longest song is 2:21, and that’s the only song over two minutes. Jeremy’s lyrics keep impressing the fans, and the switching off between fast and slower songs is a great way to keep someone listening, so it’s not the same thing all the way through. Now compared to the other Touche Amore albums, this is one of the worst. The only things they have released worse than this are their splits with Make Do and Mend and their split with La Dispute.
10. The Saddest Landscape - After The Lights
I know this album isn’t actually released yet but I can’t think of any other albums so I’m just gonna put it here cause I know I’ll probably like it. Also, I have it preordered
IF YOU DISAGREE WITH THIS LIST THEN I HATE YOU
Please post your completed story about genitalia?
AnonymousEric Heintz
Testicular Torsion
“I think I’m gonna go to bed” I said to my friend Marc, on iChat.
“Okay, see ya.” He said. I turned the monitor of my computer off and laid in my bed. My bed was not made so I just laid on the crumpled sheets. My stomach started to feel weird, and I started to get a weird sensation around my body. I knew something wasn’t right. I looked at the clock: 12:30 AM. I turned my light off and put on Boards of Canada as a I lie in bed. I tossed and groaned and could not decide if I wanted to keep my sheets on or not. I put my hand down my pants, and realize that my left testicle hurt pretty bad, and it was a little swollen.
My heart sank, and I really did not know what to do. I went to the computer, and started searching all kinds of things into Google. I log back onto iChat, and see if anybody is still awake. I look down my buddy list, and I see Chris “UZ” White, and Alexiscool. Good choices, I am comfortable sharing this with both of them. I open both my conversations with “My left ball is swollen what should I do help please.” UZ started laughing at me and telling me how ‘mad’ I was. Alexis suggested I sleep it off and go to the doctor tomorrow.
I went upstairs and got some ice, because I had no idea what else to do. I had to do the duck walk, because it hurt my testicle to walk around normally. I had to cup it with one hand, and it started to throb. I quickly got the ice and went downstairs into my room and laid in bed again. My monitor was still on. I go back to UZ’s window. “I’m icing my ball. I think I should go to the hospital or something.”
“Do it. Tell your mom to drive you. Cuz you can’t drive. Lololol.”
“Dammit UZ. I’m only 16 I can’t drive alone past 11.”
“Sucks.”
“K. wish me luck.”
“No.” said UZ, as I turned my monitor off and walked over to my parents’ room down the hall. Their door was cracked, as always. I take a deep breath and open the door. I walk in slowly, and am nervous about how to approach it.
“Hey mom..” I said softly. My mom was lying in bed on her back as if she was in a coffin, as always.
“Yeah?” She said, as if she was half asleep. My heart starting pounding faster.
“I think I need to go to the hospital.”
“What? How come?” My mom said, more awake now.
“My left testicle really hurts and its swollen.”
“Um.. Mike.” She said, trying to wake my dad up.
“Yeah?” he said, almost as a mumble.
“Eric said his left testicle is swollen, and he wants me to take him to the hospital. So I guess I’m gonna do that.”
“His left ball? Oh man.” He said, almost laughing.
“Mike! This is serious” She said. I left and put a shirt on and got my glasses. I went upstairs, got my flip flops, and waited at the door. My mom came upstairs in slippers, sweats, and a sweatshirt. It was throbbing with pain every second. I didn’t know what was going to happen. We got in the car, and drove over to the hospital. Once we were there, I was so relieved. Walked over to the emergency room, and I sat down as my mom talked to the lady at the desk.
“We have to wait here for a little bit.” My mom said after about a minute of talking to the receptionist. I kept looking at the clock, hoping that they would tell me to come in. We were the only two people in the lobby at the time, so I decided to lie down on the chairs. I started to bite my tongue to try to filter some of the pain away, but it wasn’t working. I couldn’t even feel the pain in my tongue. After a couple minutes of pain filtering, the nurse finally came out and asked for me. I hobbled over there, and she took me behind to the beds.
“Okay, give me your wrist.” The nurse said. She gave me an orange hospital band. I proceeded to follow her to the bed. I walked past many other people lying in beds around the ER. Nurses walking around, administering fluids to other patients, etc. I was walking slowly due to my testicle being in intense pain. The nurse came back with a notepad, and started to ask me questions.
“So on a scale of one to ten, how much does it hurt?”
“Probably about an eight, rising slowly” I said back to her.
“Okay, and how long has it been going on for?” She said. I looked around for a clock: 1:15 AM.
“Um, I started to notice pain in my testicle around 12:30-ish.”
“Okay, did you get hit there or anything earlier?”
“No, not that I can think of.”
“Okay, let me have a look at it.” I pulled down my pants, and she started to look at my testicle. I couldn’t help but think something like ‘sweet! a girl touching my balls!’ or something stupid like that. “Oh man, okay” She said after taking one look at it. “You can put your pants back on, but I think it’s probably testicular torsion. We’ll have to do an ultrasound just to be sure though.”
“Okay” I said willingly. They took me in a wheelchair to the ultrasound room, and another nurse asked me the same questions about my testicles, how it happened, how much it hurts, etc. She then asked me to take my pants off, as she looked at it as well. ‘Another girl touching my balls, nice!’ went through my head, of course. She then put this blue cream on my balls, which I had no idea what it was. She let it sit for a tiny bit, and then waved the scanner over it, and looked at the scan. I was lying down in pain during this entire experience, because they had yet to give me any painkillers.
“Yep. Definitely testicular torsion. Now let’s clean up and get you some painkillers.”
“Thank you. Yes that’s really what I need right now”. I said quickly, wanting them so bad.
She wheeled me back to the bed I lied in earlier, and helped me back into the bed. She left, and the other nurse and came back and looked at the clipboard that the ultrasound nurse had left. “Okay, let’s get you some painkillers!” I smiled for the first time in about an hour, ready for the painkillers. I anticipated them so bad, and it felt it was hurting so much more every second. I needed them.
When she finally arrived, I smiled again. “Okay, you ready?”
“Yes please.” She walked over to me, and had the needle with the painkillers, and an IV.
“Okay, this is gonna hurt, but then it’ll all stop hurting”
“Great. Thank you.” She injected them into me and at that moment I felt the biggest relief ever.
“Now, you have testicular torsion, which is where one of the testicles becomes twisted, and the blood gets cut off, making it swell and throb. You’re gonna have to have surgery, and we called the doctor and he’s gonna drive over from ‘Good Sam’ down on Los Gatos Boulevard. He said he’ll be here as soon as he can.”’
“So does this mean I’m gonna keep my testicle and everything?”
“If he gets here in time, yeah. You can go 4-6 hours with it usually, and you said you started to feel pain at 12:30 and it’s 2:30 right now so you’ll probably be fine.”
“Okay, cool.” I said, in relief. I laid there and talked to my mom while waiting for the doctor to get there. “Thank God I decided to come to the hospital”
“Yeah I know” My mom said, laughing. I laid there and was barely awake. They started to roll me to the surgery room, and I remember lying there with my eyes closed, but still awake. I finally arrived after going up an elevator and saying bye to my mom, half-asleep. I met the doctor that just arrived, and was still getting ready. He introduced himself, and I was finally rolled into the surgery room. I saw the padded seat I would lie in, and they started to give me Anesthesia. I lied there, and I looked at the clock, and it was 4:00AM. I thought to myself and wondered would happen if I didn’t make it. If it only had only testicle the rest of my life.
I woke up, in a daze and saw the doctor. “How did it go?” I asked him.
“You’re just fine. You got both your testicles working perfectly.”
